March 16, 2008
British Engineering Systems' Intelligent Vibrator Project
British Engineering Systems' Intelligent Vibrator Project
Man, BES's website name sounds so much more official than Slashdong. Ah well, we were goin' for comedy in the first place (for those of you who didn't notice the gigantic flying circuit board dildo in the header and all).
Remember the torturedildonics project that I mentioned someone else coming up with and mentioning a few months ago? For those of you that don't like clicking links, the idea is basically to make a random number generator that controls a vibrator, therefore making a very annoying sex toy. Yes, some people want this. No, I don't care if you don't. Maybe some other people reading this page do. Might be nice to think of them every once in a while, eh?
Anyways, the BES blog is all about the journey to discovery and learning that goes along with trying to put this particular project together. Lots of interesting discussion about implementation, ideas for the future, etc... Hasn't been updated in a couple of months, but I'm partially posting this to poke the project's author to start posting about it again. Here, have some hits, random internet guy!
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October 28, 2007
Controlled Sensations Bondage Station
Controlled Sensations Bondage Station
So, what do you get when you take...
- ET-312B Electrostim Unit
- Venus 2000
- Various Locking Mechanisms
- Various Sensory Deprivation Mechanisms
- LED Strobe Glasses
- Oh just go read the list yourself
Why, the Controlled Sensations Computer Controlled Bondage Station, of course!
This thing is what I'd do if I had money and time and an attention span and then some more money. It's fucking awesome, and it's open source! There's pictures of the setup, and the Python Source Code that runs the setup is available! There's also message boards to talk directly to the creator through.
I want one.
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October 22, 2007
More Arse Elektronika Video
Thanks to Donald Bell and C|Net for making this video. It goes along with the CNet article about the moaning lisa, with Matt Ganucheau explaining the technology behind the installation, and also features a portion with me pimping the iBuzz 'cause it was the only audio toy I had on hand (SoftLabs, where art thou?) and it was for an audio blog. (Dear Lovehoney: Please send the truckloads of cash now.)
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April 3, 2007
The Naughtyizing of Croquet: Day 2 of 29
Well, it's downloaded! The first step has been taken! Of course, it's been downloaded on my newly christened and otherwise bare Macbook, so it's been an evening of trying to get everything in working order, not just Croquet.
So, in the words of Bill Murray from What About Bob...
Iiiiiiiiiiii'm SAAAAAAILLLLLINNNNNGGGGGGG!
But really, that's about it. Mostly making sure things work tonight. More progress tomorrow I hope.
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April 2, 2007
The Naughtyizing of Croquet: Day 1 of 29
It's pretty easy to get confirmation of how completely fucking random my brain is. Just ask anyone who's met me. I have problems keeping on a subject for more than 2 minutes, much less months at a time.
So, even though I've got ton of backed up projects and writing (hi audio vibe people and fucktube people! I swear I'm working on it!), why not jump in and start a new one... Right now? Unfortunately, there's only one way to do this pure, and that's by starting it the second it hits my brain.
So. Croquet. I have chosen what is possibly the most unhelpful image ever to illustrate this because that is how I roll.
Croquet is a 3D collaborative development environment written by some very smart people. Very, very, very smart people. However, in easier to understand terms, think of it like Second Life (and if you don't know what Second Life is, um... shit.), except the major differences are:
- Everything is open source
- versus just Second Life's client being open source. For now. Gonna change. At some point.
- You run your own server and host everything
- versus Linden Lab running and maintaining all of the servers
- and running your own isn't necessarily a good thing. Do you know how much bandwidth this shit takes? Well, you'll find out. Remember to dip your TiSP lines in some crisco to make things faster!
- Everything is written on top of the Squeak platform, which is pretty much Smalltalk "with benefits" (well, benefits like pretty much being an operating system. I think I'll start calling these 'emacs benefits')
- versus Second Life's C++ core with LSL language on top of it
And there's a whole bunch of lower level architecture issues, too, but if you care about those... Well, god, I wish there was an article I could point you at, but on initial google, there doesn't really seem to be a "This is Croquet, This is SL, this is the apples, these are the oranges" type deal. It's all "[Croquet/SL] [is/is not] an [operating system/true open source/the next big thing/dessert topping/floor cleaner]". At this point, I don't have enough information to say anything, either.
The question remains, what the fuck does this have to do with Slashdong? Well, the idea is pretty simple.
Don't get me wrong. I loves me some Second Life. And not just because they, you know, pay me and let me make virtual worlds all damn day. Which is totally fucking sweet, let me tell you (Hell, come work for Linden Lab! Did I mention the awesomeisity of it? 'cause, really, it is.). But really, there's some ways that SL works you just can't change (and should never be changed, 'cause the idea works for what it's supposed to do, but more on that in a later post), mainly that whole "LL serves up everything" deal (Ok, so this /is/ slated to change at some point in the future, but bear with me for the moment). This is fine and dandy if you can drop the 16 or so Benjamins on an island of your own then sell your virtual (or real) body on the real (or virtual) street to keep up the maintenance fees. It also means you've got a built in user base of something like a bazillion people (plus or minus a hojillion. Yeah, go ahead and hump those numbers 'til they bleed, blogosphere) of people who might be (and I 100% guarantee a few that ARE) into whatever it is you're into.
But, not everyone has the $tack$ needed to roll on virtual dub$ of Second Life. More importantly, not everyone wants their business happening in public, or even the "private but not totally private" that is owning your own SL region. If you're still completely clueless of who I'm referring to here, just read this article and focus on the shouldn't part. Now, of course, even peer to peer, someone could be sitting outside your window (network) with a camera (packet sniffer or maybe some actually totally awesome scifi movie shit where it renders out all your network traffic into really neat graphs and pictures which make for a great show on a 30" LCD. But most likely, packet sniffer.), so the usual "I don't care how many Tor hops your going through, this shit ain't private" rules apply. But still, there's levels. Second Life gives you one of them, and it's great for many, many people. There's others that want different things, though. Thus, we arrive at the apartment model.
The apartment model is my term for a virtual, collaborative 3d environment that allows pure, peer-to-peer connections. Sure, you can join nets or meshes or grids or whatever, but if you want, you can also just hook up person to person (or person to machine to person to machine or...) and go about your business.
Funny enough, Playstation Home runs this sort of model. As far as I understand it, you will host your own apartment, and other people will come visit and completely stomp the shit out of your tiny little cable modem pipe 'cause you're hostin' it all! (ever wonder why they're not allowing user created content?). Not to mention, assuming you're one of the majority, you most likely don't have a PS3, nor do you have any plan to buy one any time soon. So that's just right out, anyways.
However, Croquet is totally like "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades" and will let you render anything you damn well please (even if it does mean slicing your face off). They have VNC, web browsing, all sorts of crazy shit. I bet there's totally a ninja in there somewhere. Waiting to slice your face off. Because that's what they do.
Obviously, this is HUGE for the kind of things that, um, well, I do, and this project is all about me doin' my thing.
Back in July of 2005, I managed to get a full hardware and software interface together for Second Life in a concentrated total of 3 days from starting my first account (I think I actually took a day off work, even). For this one, since the platform is a little bit more daunting and I'm starting from scratch (well, almost, I did play with one of the beta builds for a while well over a year ago), I'm giving myself a month. I'll be blogging on my progress daily (Woooooooooooooo a full month of content! That'll be a first!), as well as rethinking my interface for Second Life, and, god (or whatever the hell deity it is that puts this shit in my head) willing, by May 1st, I'll have a Second Life to Croquet bridge.
Along the way, I'll be blurting out my thoughts on Croquet, SL (which, having now spent 10 months in the prim mines, I think I kinda maybe sorta get like, a little), Squeak, virtual worlds, programming, the internet, and anything else I feel like rambling about.
You'll also get a look inside my head during my development process of things like this. If that doesn't send you running away, you should have your fight or flight response tuned post-haste.
It'll be a fun ride. Or at least, a ride. Or hell, it could be a total failure. But I try to keep negativity out until day 2. Wanna help out? Join our message boards and tell me what the hell I'm doing wrong, then tell others what they're doing wrong in telling me what I'm doing wrong! Viva Open Source Community!
And BTW: Alan Kay, if you're reading this... Can I have your autograph? Object Orientation is, like, totally, hella awesome.
Oh yeah. And, um, sorry in advance.
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September 11, 2006
Lego Vibrator - The Fuck-o-matic
Lego Vibrator - The Fuck-o-matic
Well, I said not to shove cellphones into your nether regions, and I should probably continue that warning here.
Just because you can make the lego vibrate, doesn't mean you should then take advantage of it. However, it is a fairly awesome idea. Since it's attached to an RCX brick, you can use one of the many languages available to interact with the brick through IR. Hook that to a network, and you're good to go.
God. I just seriously thought about that.
However, you might want a slightly more powerful motor than the little gray ones that come with the kit. Oh yeah, and maybe shave down the edges on the lego.
So, Steve Digman, who built the mighty piece of machinery (and who's CC license I have now fulfilled so I can post the whole thing if I wanted to, but I'll let his bandwidth deal with it instead), we salute you. With what body part, well, that's another question.
via Hack-A-Day
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May 26, 2006
Meat Tenderizer
Sometimes, you're wandering through Bed, Bath & Beyond, and you see things. Things that are supposed to be at BB&B, sure. But, there are ulterior motives. Obvious ones.
Now, here's the webpage's description for it:
Two-in-one tool has a spiked surface for tenderizing, a flat surface for pounding cutlets and chicken breasts. Chrome-plated zinc. 3"Dia. x 6"H.
So, the bottom reverses. The top has a flared, rounded handle.
For those of you who just missed the obvious train, what you're looking at here is an incredibly cheap metal buttplug with possible fetish play capabilities.
Flip the flat side up, you've got a nice, weighty metal plug that looks nice. Put the spikey side up, and you've got a plug with a acupressure base, perfect for training or just a new and interesting sensation. I don't think I'd recommend you use it for pounding food-grade meat after that, though.
Just wait 'til your next trip to a cooking store.
As a wise man once told me, "It's all about how you look at things."
