May 24, 2007
The Face Says It All
Though I'm not sure whose face, or what it's saying.
Me, Johannes of Monochrom and The Virtual Hole at DorkbotSF (more pictures here)
Picture thanks to Shifz
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May 23, 2007
qDot Speaking at DorkBotSF Tomorrow
So I'm all about short notice speaking engagements these days!
I'm speaking tomorrow night as part of a rather impromptu Dorkbot at the Porn Palace here in SF. Who knows, maybe I'll finally get to meet the kink.com/fuckingmachines people. At which point, the universe will implode on itself.
Anyways, info:
Dorkbot SF
Wednesday, May 23, 2007(7:30 PM)
The Porn Palace
415 Jessie Street
San Francisco
94102
To cap off this weekend's craziness and take advantage of
maker faire folks in town being here to party with us,
and due to popular request, we're doing an impromptu
dorkbot this wed.!
Violet Blue - Pain Boys and Electro-Stim Interview with Kyle Machulis
http://tinynibbles.com
Monochrom - and their latest projects
http://monochrom.at
Shifz - Cocktail Robotics
http://shifz.blogspot.com
Team Unicorn (amy jenkins, liisa pine, wendi flybutter) - Triumph of Chastity the Legend of the Unicorn
Amy's flickr set
Kyle Machulis (qDot) - his latest projects
http://slashdong.org
Guest MC and Host Jacob Appelbaum
FREE ADMISSION but donations are highly encouraged. All proceeds will go to the San Francisco Crisis Center
CASH BAR 21+
For full details, including attendance, visit:
http://upcoming.org/event/193005
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May 18, 2007
qDot @ Maker Faire
So, in keeping up with every other blog of anyone that lives in the Bay Area, I shall announce the obvious: Of course I'm going to be at Maker Faire tomorrow. Who isn't? Oh, that's right, all you bitches that decided not to be in San Mateo this weekend. Don't worry, I will take many pictures and gush about how awesome it is.
Feel free to say hi if you see me around. I'll be that guy with the green hair. Yeah, that one.
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May 17, 2007
Halcyon Pink and the Dildonics Project
John Halcyon Styn, that guy with the pink hair you've probably seen before if you've been around the internet for any length of time, was doing teledildonics long before I ever got into the field. Here's a video of his experiments using the Safe Sex Plus toy around a decade ago, back when webcam houses were still a novel thing. Neat stuff! (Well, other than the fact that it shows how little the technology has moved in a decade, heh)
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May 16, 2007
Artificial Means: Our New Theme Song!
Or at least, it would be if someone could crank out a bitchin' metal version of this, and we could get the good people at Fucking Machines to film the video, and lots of donations to pay the licensing fees, and so on and so forth. But anyways, on to lyrics! Song is by Christine Lavin/Flip-A-Jig, who's link I'm throwing in here a few times, 'cause, well, fuck, this r00lz.
---
Artificial Means
Words and Music by Christine Lavin/Flip-A-Jig
Music ASCAP & Happy Valley Music BMI
Copyright 1986, Palindrome Records, Philo
Oh Johnny and Janie were the perfect married couple,
But not in bed.
Oh, They tried takin' drugs, how-to books, even Dr. Ruth,
But for all intents and purposes their love life was dead.
'Til one day Janie went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique
She bought a long cylindrical thing
Now Janie is smiling, Johnny is not
Every night you can hear him sing
He says "Our love is being kept alive by Artificial Means
You've grown emotionally attached to that little pink machine
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems
'Cause our love is being kept alive by Artificial Means"
( okay this is a singalong for anybody who might have problems in
the Boudoire. Don't be shy )
Oh Johnny went down to the barroom
He bought one drink he bought two he bought three
Oh he moaned to the bartender the state of his married life
Bartender said "hey bud, just listen to me"
So Johnny went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique
He bought a plastic blow up doll
Now Johnny is smiling, Janie is not,
She is angry, she is jealous, she's appalled
She says "our love is being kept alive by Artificial Means
You've grown emotionally attached to that polyethelene
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems
'Cuz our love is being kept alive by Artificial Means"
( that was great singing, I could hear you )
Wires (wires),
switches (switches),
batteries (batteries),
plastic (plastic),
tufts of artificial hair
who'd ever think they could replace the love (Love?)
Humans used to share (humans used to, humans used to
humans used to, humans used to)
Then one fateful day, those batteries died
At the same moment that that big doll sprung a leak (hissssssssssssss)
Johnny looked a Janie, looked at Johnny, looked at Janie and they
Both found it difficult to speak
I wish I could say they threw those contraptions away
And fell in love all over again
But Johnny taped up that hissing woman
When Janie stole the batteries from his Sony Walk-man.
Because their love is being kept alive by Artificial Means
They've grown emotionally attached to these modern sex machines
Their relationship is not as healthy as it seems
'Cuz their love is being kept alive
Love is being kept alive
Love is being kept alive
By Artificial Means
---
Ok, wait a sec. I don't think I like the ending very much. 'cause everyone knows the robots are supposed to win. That's not sad. We've just evolved beyond the need for other people and now our machines are so full of awesome we just can't help ourselves.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
But even so.
Wires (wires),
switches (switches),
batteries (batteries),
plastic (plastic),
tufts of artificial hair
Sounds like a successful Friday night to me.
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May 14, 2007
Sex Hacks Talk, Monday, 05.21.2007, San Francisco
Come see me do my thing! Very possibly the last time before Arse Elektronika (unless I get another speaking gig out of the blue like this)
SEX HACKS
with artists, technologists, designers, & geeks:
>> Norene Leddy: NYC-Based Artist Presents "The Aphrodite Project" GPS Platform Shoes for the Modern Sex Worker (theaphroditeproject.tv)
>> qDot: Offering Up His Custom Built and Frequently Teledildonic Sex Toy Hacks (slashdong.org)
>> Natasha Strange: Beloved San Francisco Dominatrix Demonstrates Hypnotic Electronic Mind Hacks (kittenwithawhip.com)
>> Johannes Grenzfurthner: of international art-technology-philosophy group monochrom on the upcoming sex + tech conference Arse Elektronika (monochrom.at)
Live, explicit demos make this an 18+ affair.
Curated, moderated, & instigated by Melissa Gira (Sexerati.com), for the Center for Sex and Culture
Monday, May 21st, 2007, doors at 7, science at 7:30
@ the Center for Sex and Culture
290 Division at 10th/Brannan, Suite 405
$10 - $20 Sliding Scale to benefit CSC
(no one turned away for lack of funds)
www.sexandculture.org
Mostly Private After Party at Shine
(rsvp here, or to melissa at melissagira dot com)
1337 Mission Street
Between 9th and 10th
www.shinesf.com
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May 13, 2007
The OHMIFUCKINGGAWD: OhMiBod Repackaged
My god. I did something. I actually did something.
I don't know if anyone realizes this, but I haven't really built anything in the last 18 months. Twitterdildonics was two hours of me sitting on a couch cutting and pasting code together. Well, and really, this is just me cutting and pasting parts together, but still, it's something, and it's a gateway to more somethings.
So, yes, this is the OHMIFUCKINGGAWD, as named after the song by Strapping Young Lad, who I'm actually listening to while I write this.
As usual, a new and interesting warning before I start talking about this project: DO NOT DO THIS PROJECT UNLESS YOU GET SEX TOYS FOR FREE. Seriously. I'm basically building a less functional iBuzz v2, which is $70ish, for damn near $80-90 in parts (at least, for people that pay for shit) plus the time it takes to build it and what not. This is a mod only for those of us that already have an OhMiBod and really sick of the parts lying around. Don't go buy one just for this project.
I'm about to start work on some teledildonics software that basically works as a remote controlled tone generator to trigger audio toys. The iBuzz was already in a nice package and ready to go, but the OhMiBod wasn't fairing so well after I ripped it apart last October (Aside: Wow, the Suki people know how to market. I usually find myself being in the first page if not the first 3 links of any toy I write about. Seeing I'm a seething cauldron of toy hate, this is usually not the best news for the manufacturer. However, OhMiBod? I'm on page fucking 6). The parts were scattered all over my workbench, and, well, here's my workbench:
To be able to reliably use the OhMiBod for testing, I needed it in a package that I could easily access and switch out motors on, and that had a couple of basic test functions so I could at least tell if the batteries were working without having to swap caps or have music on. I also wanted a pass-thru audio jack so I didn't have to keep track of where I put the audio splitter, because, well, I could clean up that mess, but it's almost got this "Jackson Pollock of Electronics" kinda structure going on, and I really wouldn't want to lose that inertia when I could possibly sell that for millions some day.
Therefore, the goals:
- Put OhMiBod in a package where I won't keep losing the damn circuit board
- Add Audio Pass-thru
- Add Battery Test/"Always On" Function
- Add Switch
- Add 2.5mm Jack for Modularity
With these goals in mind, I run the half mile down to Good Vibrations (have I mentioned how much I love living in the Bay Area yet? 'cause, really, I do), and start shopping for some new eggs, 'cause I burned most of mine out or can't find them (shut up). However, I find my new best friend in modding:
For $16ish, you get:
- A case with a ton of modding space in it (assuming you can work small)
- 2.5mm jack built in
- 2 AA Battery pack built in
- Nice knob based rheostat that you can take out and use elsewhere
So yeah, a smidge on the expensive side if you want to mass produce something, but otherwise awesome! With the Atmel ATTiny25/45/85 series, you could easily fit a chip in this capable of doing USB communications using the USBTiny Firmware. But that's another project entirely. Expect to see more of these around Slashdong in the future though, and if anyone from GoodVibes is reading, please send me a bunch of these for free. Kthx.
Back to modding.
Here's what the vibe looks like before you take out the Rheostat. 4 screws gets the whole thing apart, and the rheostat lifts right out.
Quick reminder of what the OhMiBod board looks like:
Black is POW-, Green is M-, Red is M+, and that little via with nothing in it above the audio jack is POW+.
[Then there's a bunch of steps] and the mod is done!
Quick description: switch is wired to control ground. +3v comes from batteries and goes to the OhMiBod board, which has a direct line to M+. M- on the board is controlled by the uC pulling the transistor to ground. The switch decides whether M+ routes through the transistor/M- path or goes directly through the motor (always on, no real current control or anything 'cause I don't plan on using this mode other than to test if my batteries work). Audio passthru is just wires soldered to the metal on the top of the audio jack to the corresponding pins on the 3.5mm jack.
Case required a bit of Dremeling to get the 3.5mm input/output jacks to fit, and I cut a rather messy hole in the top for a 3 position switch. And, well, that's it! Nothing to interesting, but I feel productive nonetheless. Off to start working on that software now.
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Infographics via Epidermis
To say I have a... thing for infographics is quite the understatement. This video has a very interesting way to portraying stats on internet porn...
via Information Aesthetics, one of my most favorite sites ever.
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May 3, 2007
BodiTalk: Phoning it in
Realizing that he hasn't made a new project in 18+ months and yet is still getting interviews and speaking gigs, qDot realizes he doesn't really need to put all the work into getting riled up about new toys and ranting on here...
Where's my latte? Remember, low-fat half-caf no-foam lite-whip. Get it wrong and you can find another industry to work in...
Ok, ready? Ready.
Blah blah blah Boditalk By Suki blah blah blah OhMiBod was a piece of crap blah blah blah Vibraexciter was a piece of crap yadda yadda LoveHoney showed that all products were made in same Chinese factory blah blah blibbity blah therefore most likely vibraexciter = boditalk = crap (So yeah, I don't actually have one, I'm just guessing here, but it's an educated guess. And even so, who the FUCK thinks this is a good interface, huh? HUH? "Your pick up your phone and it buzzes! You can't control it, you just talk! Let's charge $70 for it! BRILLIANT! *clinking of guiness bottles heard*") blah blah QED.
I SAID LITE-WHIP, MOTHERFUCKER. NOT NO WHIP. *sound of blunt trauma to head region*
Christ. Child labor isn't what it used to be.
And I better get paid extra for that parenthetical. That was almost work.
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