March 19, 2007

The Look of Post Con Depression

The conference season, he/she/they/it/hir/xir/??? is a harsh master/mistress/whatever the fuck you genderqueer BDSMers call yourselves.

One week, you're standing in a bathroom stall next to the guy who wrote your favorite WordPress plugin, doing fat rails of coke that were divided up using the pocket knife you picked up as swag at the expo booth of some pretentious Web 2.0 startup that won't exist next month.

Then the next week, you find yourself sitting in front of a strawberry sundae you inhaled in record time (with beer chaser), lamenting the loss of the power supply for your bowling pin vagina which you were totally looking forward to using after a bunch of bloggers stuck their best typing finger in it, getting yourself a vicarious handjob from half the hip side of the internet, with the heady thoughts of your 5 seconds of importance because you made a couch vibrate to microblogging fueling your hard-on that could only be described using adjectives that would also make a great tagcloud for a gay porn streaming movie site that you'd totally visit.

So you do what anyone would do.

You go to Toys r Us and buy yourself a robotic pet to rip apart and pervertify to do your own horrific biddings, most of which have absolutely nothing to do with sex but since you're posting it on your big, well-known sex blog, people are just gonna assume.

And then, you end by making it a link post to all the spiffy blogs you've found over the past few days:

• Suicide Bots - This is what I wanted to do with the deathbots.com domain that I got. Yay that they're doing it awesomely.
• Good Math, Bad Math - Back in college, I used to refer to 'bad math' as 'hippie math', referring to the type of math that happens when pot, fractal posters, and a low grade understanding of high school mathematics get together. This is a blog all about kicking people's asses on that. Makes me VERY happy.
• Sexerati - Neat sex blog
• Shake Well Before Use - Another nifty sex + other stuff blog

Now then, back to the bionic kitty project.

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