February 27, 2006
Auto...sex...?
Auto...sex...? (mpg video)
Since I started slashdong, I've seen an awful lot of crazy DIY shit, but I think this one is a new milestone in... whatever it is.
But, well, if I'm making comments like this, you can already guess what the video is like. I'll just let you judge for yourself.
via our glourious message boards
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Teledildonics: Sounds Like a Great Future
Teledildonics: Sounds Like a Great Future
Well hot damn, an article on Teledildonics that isn't a rehash of every other article on teledildonics!
This article in the UCLA Daily Bruin does a quick overview of the hardware that's available right now. However, the really interesting part of the article is the author's ideas about what can be done with the software/hardware in the future. The fact that she's coming up with ideas about using the technology for changing viewpoints/genders, being silly, and experimenting with new things really makes it sound like there's more to this stuff beyond idiotic spaceship GUIs and small vibratey things, which is something I really get sick of seeing.
Oh yeah, and even though it's part of my vocabulary now, teledildonics IS still a fun word (though it's still no bulbous bouffant...)
Anyways, to this article, I give Slashdong's highest praise:
Fuckin' A.
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Sex Chair looking for Distributors/Partners
Sex Chair looking for Distributors/Partners
There's a new Sex Chair! Because what this world needs is more sex chairs, ya know:
Now, not only can you get it on in this chair, once you're done, you can be all big pimpin' on the internet from your back yard!
Yeah, I like the idea of multiuse furniture. Just make sure you hose it down good.
Found this on our forums, they're currently looking for partners and distributors if anyone is interested.
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February 24, 2006
Happy Birthday, SeXBox
One year ago today, I posted the article that would change my life forever. Or at least currently, but I have no sense of time whatsoever, so it seems like forever.
Yup, It's been exactly a year since I posted the SeXBox v1.
Wow. Fuckin' A.
I've got a long, crazy, drawn out post about the history of slashdong, things I've learned, and other stuff, but I really don't feel like finishing it tonight, so it'll be up sometime in the next few days. However, I felt like I should at least say something. I kinda consider this to be the birthday of slashdong to, since before the sexbox, no one (not even me) really gave a shit, heh.
Anyways, thanks to everyone who still reads this, all of the friends that've stuck through finding out I'm a horrible pervert, all of the new friends I've made because I'm a horrible pervert, and most of all, to my fiancee, who, somehow, hasn't broken up with me during my climb up the ladder to BLOGGING GOD, and can still find ways to humiliate me even though I talk about buttplugs in front of roomfulls of people without blushing now. Love you beb.
We now return you to your normal vibratey programming.
(Oh yeah, SLASHDONG BIRTHDAY PARTY - SECOND LIFE - MARCH 4TH - More details to come)
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February 21, 2006
iBuzz comes to the US
Ending our coverage of "Things that start with a lower-case i" day on Slashdong, we've got... something we've already talked about before.
The iBuzz, which was awesome when it was known as The Audi-Oh (And I honestly thought Audi-oh had a patent on this. Oh well.), is making it's way to the shores of the US just in time for Steve Jobs birthday. The amount of hipstergasm fluids that will flow due to the fact that you can buy an vibrator for your iPod that also begins with i and is white makes me seriously fucking ill just to think about.
Anyways, it goes on sale February 24th, and is currently $59, $10 cheaper than you'll find the audi-oh most places.
Or you can build the Ghett-oh.
Or you can just wait for us to get around to writing up an audio vibe tutorial. Which I swear is on the way. Someday.
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The iBrator
Kicking off our coverage of "Things that start with a lower-case i" day here on Slashdong, we've got an oldie but.. well, it's old.
The iBrator seems to be a joke similar to the FU-FME that came out around the time of the annoucement of the first iMacs. I know there was more than one of these, but for the life of me I can't find the other images. Ah well.
Anyways, this site seems to have spawned an actual term, as many of the small, portable, "vibrantly colored" vibes are now known as iBrators to some people. Aren't internet joke coined phrases wonderful?
via Sex Drive Daily (Comments)
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February 17, 2006
Je Joue Part 2: My God, I Think I Might be Impressed
In part one of the Je Joue post, I said I was going to take some time trying out the software (and playing with the output file format, you know, for research purposes). However, the more I started reading, the more I realized that I was a little too snarky in my first post.
In fact, I may actually be impressed by this! No, seriously!
So, first off, lemme get my facts straight. The Je Joue is absolutely nothing like the Ultime, outside of the ergonomic form factor. All the Ultime does is vibrate. For 400$US, you better be rockin' some god damn worlds, and now that I've actually done a smidge o' homework, I think they may be onto something here. At least, assuming you're female.
The Je Joue consists of a "Pleasure Pad", which from what I can tell looks like a soft pad with two bumps and some ridges on it (The exercise of "Where does this go on the female anatomy" is left as an exercise to the reader). The pad has 3 DOF (2 lateral, 1 rotation), though one of the lateral axis is vibration, but I guess that counts. Anyways, in non-technical terms, that means it can move up and down, turn in either direction, and buzz.
Because I love drawing with my mouse, here's a diagram:
So, that's already pretty neat. It's more than just a buzz-buzz. However, the smartness really comes in the software and interface. The Je Joue comes with a piece of software called PleasureWear, which is brilliant in 2 completely different ways.
The first is the fact that it's FREE, and built to be one hell of a piece of distributable advertising. When you load the software (on your PC or Mac. Yaaaay, apple people, you may stop running your SymToys clients in classic mode and come join us in modern sex toy happiness!), the first thing that pops up is a list of demo patterns. Once you click on a pattern and hit play, the toy GUI on the upper left hand side actually mimics the pattern feedback movement! I downloaded the software earlier thinking it was going to be a glorified version of FFEdit since I hadn't actually looked at the side, so when shit started goin' all up and down and rotating, I was like, "Whoa, maybe I shoulda snarked less", and began this post.
But wait, there's MORE! For one of the first times that I think I'm aware of, someone has gone past the slider based GUI, and, OMG, used PATTERNS in a non-Electrostim toy!
For those of you not into shocking yourself into ecstasy (And, really, you should give it a shot after doing the proper reading up), stimmers usually trade a certain type of sound file between themselves in order to share patterns they've developed. These patterns basically work in the same way that most toys with patterns do (say, the Doc Johnson's iVibe, for example). There's ramps up and down, sine/square/triangle waves, so on and so forth. Patterns are also vitally important to teledildonics, but we'll be getting to that in our UI article that will be up soon.
Usually, manufacturers provide a static set of patterns (i.e. iVibe again) stored on a uC (microcontroller, something we'll explain in the SBv5 tutorial, also up soon. Boy, I've got a lot of writing to do), and that's all you get. The Je Joue, however, allows you to load different patterns onto your toy through the USB port. These patterns are called Grooves, a term I'll try to use for the rest of the article because I'm obviously being a marketing shil in the first place. Anyways, Grooves are put together in the PleasureWare software.
Here's what the software looks like. Each little patch at the bottom is a type of movement. Each of these will be some permutation of the up and down movement, rotation, and vibration capabilities. To add it to your Groove, You just drag the pattern to the timeline on top. After this, when you select the Groove piece, you can change different attributes, noted by the sliders below the bar. These are related back visually by changes in the texture of the groove patch on the timeline.
Not only is there an easy way to build Grooves, the sharing mechanisms are also built into the software. You can have a buddy list of people you usually share Grooves with. Once again, fucking brilliant idea here. Not only does it mean that the usability of sharing is built into the software, the fact that the software handles it versus a webpage will give people an added sense of security, since there's no transfer step in Groove retrieval.
My only complaint so far (and this is as an "advanced end user", more commonly referred to by customer service departments as "asshole") is the fact that you can't use grooves as objects, i.e. there's no MetaGroove categories where you could chain current grooves into another larger Groove. However, that's pretty damn nitpicky at the moment.
So yeah, it actually feels good to say something nice about a commercial product for once. Sure, I've never used it, I don't even have the parts to use it. But it's different, the interface is awesome, and the sharing capabilities are spot on.
Fuckin' A.
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Je Joue Programmable Vibrator
Update Update: Expanded article on the Je Joue is all done. I better get one for free after all that.
Update: First off, thanks to Regina for posting this on her blog. Please note that the glee mentioned in her article will be posted as soon as I can writing something coherent, but until then, ignore my snarkiness, this thing is quite smart. Go check out their webpage. I don't even have a vagina (*checks again* Nope. Still don't.) and I want one.
The Je Joue sensual massager is an ergonomic vibrator similar to the Natural Contours line (i.e. the Ultime). However, instead of just on and off, this one is PROGRAMMABLE! Wheeee!
Through a USB interface and software that works on Windows or Mac, you can make your own patterns and share them with others.
So, I'm sure you're asking, "Hey, sorta cross-platformy, programmable, what's your complaint this time, qDot?". Well, the price.
£225. Or, for those of us in the U.S., $400ish.
I'll be playing with the software interface later today and posting more info on it, as I'm genuinely interested in how they present a force feedback effects builder to the end user.
via Shiny Shiny
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February 10, 2006
NaughtyTech - A New Player Enters the Fray
NaughtyTech - A New Player Enters the Fray
So I've been checking back on the Naughty Tech site every so often since they went live last summer, and it looks like they've finally got something going. Posted on their site last week is a demo video of their new Teledildonics control software, combining toy and camera control into one GUI. It's an interesting idea, really, and I like their setup better than the other's I've seen so far.
They've got a rather hidden blog too, http://www.naughtytech.com/blog
Always good to see more competition in the teledildonics field.
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February 9, 2006
Math Porn
It's math!
It's porn!
It's MATH PORN!
All the pictures on the side are mathematically generated. Now, technically, you could most likely come up with an equation to represent ANY image if you tried hard enough. But these, they're... more mathy. Or something.
via Sexblo.gs
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Vibrating Headphones? No, really. Why?
Vibrating Headphones? No, really. Why?
The headphones. They vibrate.
No, really. It's something you put on your head, and it vibrates. That's not fucking headache inducing or anything.
Now, we feel obligated to cover weird things that vibrate. This is definitely something weird that vibrates. Aerowolf even came up with the idea that you could "Put them on and feel like you're fucking on the dancefloor".
Me, though, not so much. I really cannot see these being comfortable in any way. However, I suppose you could put them on your crotch and turn something relatively bassy on, or do like we always say, hop on the back of a Warthog in Halo and start firin'.
God, we're starting to sound like Homemade Sex Toys around here. I really need to finish the sexbox article. Soon.
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February 6, 2006
Inventing with 100 Cheapo Vibrators
Inventing with 100 Cheapo Vibrators
Remember those cheap as shit vibes from Amazon that we ordered a few of a while ago? Well, someone decided that their roommate needed 100 of them for christmas. Other than being the most awesome random christmas present ever, the roommate has decided to ask the internet for help on what non-sexual, non-destructive thing he should create with them.
The Official Slashdong Idea:
Mount all vibrators to a styrofoam ball (facing outward, so switch end is mounted to ball), connect all power supplies together, and create the world's biggest vibratey ball.
See? We can be harmless and non-pervy. When we want to be. Or are forced to be.
via Fleshbot
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February 2, 2006
The Full Stroke
Looks like The Priceless might have a little competition!
The FullStroke is... interesting. From looking at their how it works page, it seems that it's something similar to the way the Fleshlight works, except more automaticy. It has a valve at the end of the tube that simulates the FL cap, building up and releasing pressure on the stroke and creating a vaccum.
I dunno how into their harness system I am, though. That just doesn't look comfy at ALL for guys, and the female one? Not even gonna go there. Granted, if you're using something like this, you're not usually trying to look sexy for someone else, but still. Some of us just can't stop thinking about fashion no matter what.
Anyways, at $199, it's certainly a contender in the "Poor Schmuck who can't afford a Venus" category.
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The Top Ten Sexiest Female Robots
The Top Ten Sexiest Female Robots
YesButNoButYes (Man, I love that blog name) has a list of the top 10 sexiest female robots, or at least, their opinion on the matter.
Thank god, Small Wonder doesn't make a showing (Sorry, V.I.C.K.I.'s Uncle... *shudder*).
But what about the Svedka bot, people? Transluscent AND drink bearing! No love for the All Is Full of Love bots either, though I'm not sure if those were female, but who cares, Bjork! (Bjork, were you brought by the stork, or were you created from butter and cork...)
via Sexblo.gs
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USB Vibrator Ranks #1 on Weird Device List
USB Vibrator Ranks #1 on Weird Device List
In a list of 10 weird USB devices, 3 of them vibrate, and one of those things that vibrates made the #1 spot.
Now, granted, we here at Slashdong actually do own the USB Vibrator. It's great for testing using 5v supplies because it can be assumed that it was made to run on something giving it under the 100mA low power limit as specified by the USB standard (even though we've proven this ain't always true), so you aren't gonna blow up, say, an XBox Controller with it.
However, what worries us is the fact that someone thinks this is weirder than a USB Grill, which came in DEAD LAST. Hooking something that vibrates to your computer is weirder than cooking hamburgers with your computer?
Wonder if we could make the grill vibrate...
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