January 30, 2006
Happiness is a busy desk
This is what a desk is MEANT to look like, damnit.
This is the desk of a man with a mission.
This is the desk of a happy engineer.
Fuckin' A.
(Yes, that is the SeXBox v5 layout. Things are going well now that I have a chip that will work with my serial communication code. PROGRESS.)
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January 27, 2006
I'm in Wired. Again.
Remember when this was something I was kinda enthused about?
Yeah, me too.
Man, I'm getting jaded.
Anyways, yeah, ol' qDot is in Wired. Again.
This time, they got my name wrong. I am qDot. I am not qDot Slashdong.
The only last name I have with qDot is Bunnyhug.
I do hug bunnies.
I do not slash dongs.
Oh yeah, so, the article. Sex hardware in video games. All stuff you've seen on our front page before, but go read it because you need to hear more quotes from me about this stuff.
Actually, this is the second time this week something I work on has been in Wired. MMOrgy made it into a machinima article. So that's kinda cool. Now I'm doubleWireding. Whole new level of Wiredism.
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January 24, 2006
Virtual Reality Sex Machine
Looks like the Interactive Fleshlight's got some competition!
Unlike the IF, which I assume is not experiencing strong sales since their software link has been broken for months, the VRSM actually comes with software! So, you and your sexy air pressure gauge can take to pumpin' away at your machine while you watch polygonal boobs and ass shake on screen to your motions.
The VRSM is around $40 cheaper than the IF too, you can pick one up here.
I smell a driver hacking project...
Via a lovely reader who emailed me because we've obviously been short on content lately. I luv u, reader who will remain anonymous.
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January 15, 2006
Teledildonic Conception
I just wrote an article that some of you over here that don't read MMOrgy might be interested in. It outlines the idea of Teledildonic Conception, or using teledildonics hardware and face morphing software to make virtual babies more real.
I'm not really hoping to get into the habit of linking to myself on my own sites, but since this sort of crosses the border between MMOs, games, and hardware, it seemed like a good idea.
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Handjob Machine: Mystery Solved, with ENGRISH!
Handjob Machine: Mystery Solved, with ENGRISH!
Update: Sometimes, we (well, me) at Slashdong make mistakes. This is one of those times. We have just been notified that Fleshbot had this link, like, 2 freakin' years ago. Therefore, our snarkiness was unfounded, but unlike most other blogs on the net, we realize when we've snarked wrongly, and are willing to apologize. So, To Fleshbot:
Slashdong: Here's the 'very sorry song'
Slashdong: Won't you help and sing along?
Slashdong: Bum bum bum
Slashdong: I blew it!
Slashdong Backup Singers: He's sorry
Slashdong: I knew it!
Slashdong Backup Singers: So sorry
Slashdong: I'm very very sorry that I took your precious flaaggg! 2 year old link and called it new.
Fleshbot: Just don't do it any more, you scurvy scalawaagg!
Now, as part of our penitence, we leave the original post in tact, though it is now wearing a dunce cap. We ask that you still enjoy the brochure and engrish content.
---
HAH. All you bastards go to AEE and we're the first people to post about this? SLASHDONG FTW, BITCHEZ.
A friend of mine who did make it to AEE picked me up this flyer:
Page 1 (2404x1612, 500k)
Page 2 (2240x1624,300k)
Look familiar? Sure it does, it's the Japanese Handjob Machine! Er, excuse me, "High Performance Onanie Machine". Now we know who makes it too, SOM Japan.
Honestly, it's a neat little machine, very versitile. The brochure is filled with engrish, which makes this even better.
Now, I'm assuming "We are planning virtual type linked to visual" means they're either planning video synchronization control or possibly teledildonics. More on this once our other writer who can speak Japanese stops being AWOL (LGM, where art thou?).
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This is Not My Beautiful Vibrator!: Talking Head Vibrators
This is Not My Beautiful Vibrator!: Talking Head Vibrators
Sometimes, it's comforting to know that not only are there people out there like you, there are people out there more fucked up than you. People that will actually take their ideas to market instead of simply posting them on their blog and going on with life.
For me, that's gotta be the Talking Head Vibrator.
It's a rabbit vibe, except that is HAS A FUCKING RECORDING MECHANISM.
Now, I'm not feeling especially funny today, so I decided to ask my good friend Reverend Scott Motherfucking Crawford: The Ride to help me out. The conversation went as such.
Me: So if you had a vibrator that had a recording system in it, what would you record.
Him: ?!
Me: And this isn't one of those "Crazy ideas" I've had, this already fucking exists.
Him: ok, so you can record the soothing inner tones of the vagina?
Me: Writing the slashdong post for it right now, not feeling esp creative.
Me: All I can think is SLAYER
Him: actually, see if you can find someone who farts really well.
Him: oh, wait!
Him: martin luther king's "i have a dream" speech.
Me: You realize I'm posting this on a public website.
Him: yes.
Him: dr. king's birthday is tomorrow!
Me: No, I mean, really, I'm just cutting and pasting this converastion. On to slashdong.
Him: heh.
There's other things we came up with, like "the Theme Music to Raising Arizona" or " the "KENT! THIS IS GOD! dialogue from Real Genius" or "the George Takei audio book" or "Also Sprach Zarathustra, especially if it's the person's first anal experience", but really, I'm sure you stopped reading after the conversation paste.
Slashdong claims no responsibility for the Reverend Scott Motherfucking Crawford: The Ride, nor do his opinions reflect ours. Complain to him.
via Sex Drive Blog
Update: We're taking reader suggestions for what to record on this. So, if you've got any good ideas, email them to the tips address on the sidebar.
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January 11, 2006
qDot to speak at Sex in Video Games Conference
qDot to speak at Sex in Video Games Conference
And it just doesn't stop!
I'll be all up in the grill of the Sex In Video Games Conference, in sunny San Francisco, CA, June 8-9th. I'll be doing a talk on adult game hardware, as well as leading a panel of players on topics about sex in MMOs.
This will be, hands down, the awesomest conference EVER.
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qDot to speak at GDC
Wow. GDC. Yeah, like, THAT GDC. I'll be there. Wow. Damn.
I'll be speaking as part of Brenda Brathwaite's talk on Sex In Video Games at , March 20th-24th, in sunny San Jose, California.
Heh. Damn. G D Freakin' C. Something like that... That needs a marquee.
Hell yeah.
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Vibrating Cam Dildo
SWEET JESUS, SEX TECH NEWS! Well, sorta.
So, it's really not all THAT newsy, but at least it's interesting. We've featured dildocams before, but they've been a little on the questionable side. However, we, for some reason, trust California Exotics to make a dildocam we'd... do something that you do with a dildocam. Like, say, thread it through your drainage gutters and see what's clogging them. Or... um.... use it as a microphone and secretly look up people's noses.
Upnose shots. Slashdong creates yet another fetish. Remember, you heard it here first.
via Sex Drive Blog
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January 5, 2006
Violet Blue interviews The Thrillhammer Guy
Violet Blue interviews The Thrillhammer Guy
So back at the Sex Machines Book (that I wasn't in) show in SF (that I didn't get to go to... notice the running theme here? Oklahoma and sex toys, not a happy venn diagram), Violet Blue interviewed Head Asshat-for-not-paying-my-way-to-Vegas Allen Stein of The Thrillhammer (Listen, Allen, you know I love you, but you're at AEE right now , and I'm not, so unless you come back with an autographed, urine soaked picture of Max Hardcore (HIS urine, not yours, I can *SO* tell the difference and you are NOT pulling that trick on me again) for me, you're sleeping on the couch). Learn wonderful things about teledildonics, and then stop the video half way and go watch Lazy Sunday again because they play a clip and you totally just can't sit there and only watch part of it without going to see the whole thing, even though you've watched it every day since it was on every blog on the face of the Earth.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines, crazy fucking delicious.
Oh, anyways, yeah, and then watch the end of the video, 'cause they talk about sex some more, or something. I dunno, I've got that fucking song stuck in my head now.
Chronic WHUT cles of Narnia....
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Broadcasting live, 1700 miles away from AEE/Internext...
Yeah, that's right. Who needs AEE anyways? Not Violet Blue, and CERTAINLY not me. Why should I spend MY hard earned money getting my ass to the happiest place on Earth to spend a weekend hanging out with porn stars and writing snarky shit about the newest and best commercial sex toys when I can sit here in sunny Oklahoma and pray that the wildfires don't kill my cattle and make Pa fall off the tractor (again)?
No, I'm not jealous of the 3 fucking people who decided it'd be fun to IM me from the SHOW FLOOR today bragging about the parties they're at. Not at fucking all. (If you're there, please send us news tidbits and moblog'd pictures, as we're already going to be stuck with whatever scraps Fleshbot and Regina throw us.)
So, anyways, enough of my little pity fest, welcome to Slashdong in 2006. Once hell week is over (first week of year is always a bitch for me at ye ol' daily grind makin' da robots), I'll be back to updating the page, but for now, here's the status of Slashdong.
That, right there, is a hedgehog. A really cute stuffed hedgehog that I got for christmas. Don't you just want to squeeze it?
Next to that is the AVR dev board I picked up, which, once I figure out this whole microcontroller thing, will be the guts of the first non-controller controlled (That doesn't sound right) version of the SeXBox. That's also the point at which it will stop being the SeXBox, as I will hopefully have come up with some spiffy new name that doesn't make Microsoft employees bristle and call lawyers when I say it in public speeches.
Now, I'm sure you're asking, "WTF, this is a simple motor control board, do you REALLY need a ATMega32? 40 fucking pins? Seriously?"
Yes, yes I do. I think.
Or it could just be the fact that AVR dev boards seemed to be the Tickle Me Elmo of the christmas season this year, and this was one that I could find that was in stock, had USB preinstalled, and was within my meager budget.
The development plan is as follows:
- Make the LED on the board lightup - MILESTONE REACHED
- Do a bunch of other stuff that makes this into a sex toy controller - Current Milestone
- Profit - Goal Milestone
At least we've got that first step out of the way. I wrote to PORTB like a motherfucker, I did. Showed that LED whose boss.
It's gonna be a long dev road this time around, I think.
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