November 22, 2005

All 3 Cores... ALL MINE...

I usually don't talk about my own fetishes and sexual experiences on here. Mainly because I'm an overweight, hairy engineer who enjoys putting the toys together more than using them, but also because I do like to have a smidge of privacy in my otherwise public butt-plugging waving life.

However, tonight, I got to experience one of my favorite pleasures. It only comes around once every 4 or 5 years, and it's very, very special. It gets better with every season where video games grow more popular.

It's the joy of holding your ticket in a next gen console raffle, and suddenly hearing your number called. You stride confidently to the counter, you throw down your plastic card (the key to all good things on this earth), and in a small scale orgy of new technology and raw holiday season materialistic lust, with 500 sad, pathetic, LOSER voyeurs gathered around you, THE WINNER, you gratuitously hump that piece of hard, fast machinery until the clerk finishes ringing you up and forces you out of the store.

You walk out to your car with the biggest god damn consumerism hard-on the christmas season has ever seen, past the angry parents, the angsty college students who didn't have cash for it anyways, the crying 10 year olds. You feel like a warlord surveying the conquered, Low Price Guarentee Kingdom he just ravaged, carrying his sword that contains nothing but pure light and joy. You have raped their women, you have kill their men, you have TASTED THEIR BLOOD, AND MY GOD THAT BLOOD TASTES BRIGHT GREEN WITH CRAZY LITTLE NON SYMETTRIC CIRCLES THAT TICKLE YOUR TONGUE.

Too bad it was only a Core system.

Coming soon: SeXBox 369

Thanks to Brenda for stooping to my level and coming up with the 369. Welcome to the gutter, it's cozy here! :)

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