October 31, 2005
Who needs a bikini when it's all metal anyways?
Who needs a bikini when it's all metal anyways?
I'm not in the habit of advertising for companies that don't explicitly pay me to do so, but this is a special case. I was doing my daily gossip reading over at Defamer (damn, it's free advertising day here at Slashdong), and an ad for Svedka Swedish Vodka caught my eye. Now, I'm usually a Precis or Grey Goose drinker, but if we're going with mascot appeal, I think we have a new winner (Sorry, Grey Goose, my avian fetish is dying...).
This is Svedka_Grl, the new spokesmodel for Svedka Vodka. Combine this with their new slogan "The Future of Adult Entertainment," and the collective instant hardening of meat over at FemBotCentral and you've got the robot fetish equivilent of everyone in China jumping up and down at once. We may very well be flying off our usual orbital path of the Sun as we speak thanks to the sudden displacement caused by a million spontaniously raging machine lust induced hardons.
So, back to the serious critique. This is an interesting uses of tech sex. Sure, there's been robot fetishes for years. No 80's pad was complete without a Sorayama or two. However, this is the first time I've seen it used in mass media marketing in as long as I can remember (which isn't very long since I usually don't pay attention to this stuff). It's interesting to see the scantily clad bikini babe of normal alcohol ads replaced with a sleek, sexy 'bot who's into "elbow grease" and aspires to be a "dentist". The sexualizing of technology marches merrily on.
And just look at that picture. It's like she's saying "Come on big boy, I've been a naughty bot. Do me so hard that I compute measurements in standard units!"
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October 30, 2005
Innovation is Innovation
Note: I don't usually use slashdong as a personal blog like this, but as the page grows, there's a lot of interesting things that happen to the person running it. This post is about the realization of what being a sex toy engineer really means. After this, we'll get back to covering cock sucking machines and aluminum dildo thrusters, I swear. :)
Photography is a wonderful thing. Pictures that make you think. Pictures can combine seemingly unrelated objects and situations that when put into a frame, express some new meaning that would've been missed if it the moment were experienced in the flow of time. You know it's real, you know it hasn't been photoshopped, mainly because you were there, you are *in* the picture. Hell, it was taken with your camera. You remember the person that snapped it for you, thanking them for their time, and wishing you hadn't forgotten the USB cable so you could look at it and upload it right then. Life moves on, lectures to go to, dinners to have, advertising arrows to shoot...
Yet, when you get home, you look at the image, and wonder... Did that really happen?
The last 10 days has been an absolute blur. It feels like I've been gone at least a month, but the relatively short time it took to catch up on my RSS feeds says otherwise. Here I am, back where I started, in front of a desk that's a clutter of wires and sex toys and the iPod I forgot to take with me. This is the first writing I've done since I got home, and it feels like a new beginning.
Before I go into a synopsis of what happened during my grand two stop, one continent WORLD TOUR, I should probably mention that this was really my first time out as what could be considered the "public face" of Slashdong. I started Slashdong back in January, and up until now, I'd never really met with anyone that knew me solely through the site. I joke about it with friends, but they'd all known me well before the site went up. Never had I met people that knew me solely as qDot, sex toy and teledildonics engineer. I was nervous and really had no idea what to expect or how to act (the correct answers being "anything" and "no need to act, just be myself"), as would become obvious later.
There were really a total of 3 events in the trip, though some of them encompassed multiple meetings: Meeting other engineers, the Linden Lab visit, and the Austin Games Conference.
The first meeting happened in San Jose, in response to the message I posted on here about being in San Jose and wanting to meet up with people. Some interested parties responded, and we met for drinks during the startlingly little free time that I had (I was there to work, after all :) ). This meeting was nothing short of amazing. Sure, I talk to ridiculously smart, interesting, and creative people all the time through email and instant message, batting back and forth drawings and schematics, and brainstorming about new things to be built. But facetime with these people is a whole other experience. It's so nice to have real conversations with actual people, on topics we're all almost obsessively interested in, with an amazing amount of diverse experience between us.
It was then I realized, I need to get out of Oklahoma.
I'm sure most everyone is wondering "Well, what did you talk about? What new grand orgasmic schemes were hatched? What amazing, life changing devices will be released?!" To those people, I say, show the fuck up next time. However, it's worth noting that the To-Do board here at NP Labs is now full of months worth of horribly naughty things to build.
The second visit was to Linden Lab, creators of the Second Life world that I'm currently enamoured with. Now, unlike the first trip, this was to a place where I'd done both sex oriented and "clean" projects, so I wasn't sure what to expect.
After a hasty drive from SJ to SF and paying a rather high amount for parking because I didn't want to deal with finding a space on the street, I hiked up the hill to LL (since every direction in SF is uphill apparently), got buzzed in, and then looked around like a deer in headlights until Vektor and Jeska found me and we started the tour.
I had no idea what LL knew of me. Sure, I do neat projects, but there's 60k+ other people in the world too, and they're busy trying to keep things running. How can they keep up with the exploits of a silly engineer with too much free time? Apparently, they never sleep. They either work or are in SL.
It was then I realized, I need to get out of Oklahoma, and work at Linden Lab.
There were two levels of employee reaction to finding out who I was, depending on the project mentioned. Assuming the LifeCycle was mentioned, it would elicit anything from a "cool, that was neat" to a "Oh, have you thought about [15 minute conversation about new ideas which happened REALLY fast since I only had 30 minutes to tour the place]." However, if the Sex In Second Life/Teledildonics projects came up, people seemed to get really giggly and excited, and were all like "DUDE, YOU'RE THAT GUY!!! AWESOME!". Apparently "Teledildonics" has become the Word of the Year at Linden Lab (I better get a plaque for that!).
Now, I suppose I should've expected this. It goes along with the basis of Slashdong. Everyone understands sex. (Almost) Everyone enjoys sex to one extent or another, and it's a hell of a lot easier to understand than all of the logistics of hooking up an exercise bike to a virtual world. I guess I just wasn't used to talking about that specific project in a place that I desperately hope to work someday.
By the end of the week, I'd totally be over that.
After the whirlwind tour of LL, I headed home, then drove out to Austin for the Austin Games Conference. A full writeup of this will be happening over on Nonpolynomial Labs, but I'll cover the Sex In Games talk here, as I'm sure that's what everyone is interested in.
The Sex In Games talk featured Brenda Braithwaite, the chair of the IGDA Sex In Games Special Interest Group, and all around fucking awesome woman. We'd been talking quite a bit through email for the past 6 months or so, but we'd never actually met, so we both had no idea what to expect. Of course, I'd seen her on various TV shows before, but she'd only known me through email and my pages. Oh, the ways I could've turned out. However, we all know how incredibly intelligent, cool, and sexy I am, so the meeting went great. I had just planned on bringing hardware to have on the table while she did the talk, but she actually asked me to speak for a few minutes at the end of the talk.
Hyperventalation insued.
Her talk (or at least, what I saw of it while I was busy scribbling notes to myself about what I was going to say and having the violently nice Jeb Havens of Cyberlore reassuring me that I was going to come out of this alive) was very interesting and funny, covering the history and current climate of sex topics in video games. The crowd was both entertained and receptive. However, since I've got to write about it for at least 2 other blogs than this one, I'm just gonna go ahead and skip the fawning and get to my part. That's the fun of writing for the blogs I own. :)
Public speaking is one of the largest fears of the general population, moreso than death. There's supposed to be a million ways to get over it, including visualization of the audience in their underwear.
Me? I'm taking a butt plug on stage from now on. It's the ultimate equalizer.
I used my 4 minutes of talking time to its fullest, explaining the idea behind Slashdong and the SeXBox, as well as giving a quick software driven demo. Reaction ranged from nervous laughter to laughter of disbelief. In other words, positive. Incredibly positive. No (audible) gasps, noone stomping out the door, just a room full of people having a good time and realizing that yes, you can turn any video game into a sex toy.
After the talk, I had many people come up and say they enjoyed the talk immensely, that it'd made them think about new ways of experiencing video games. Lots of interested press, with not one negative response.
This brings us back to the first picture in this article, as it was taken minutes after the talk ended.
I was smiling, I was happy. This was an awesome way to begin. The hardware worked, the software worked, the hastily prepared presentation worked. Yet, for some reason, all of this roaring success couldn't possibly get in the way of my screwed up self esteem. I'm still not used to walking up to people and saying "Hi, I make adult interaction products for video games." The line I usually use is that I make "Input and haptics research hardware," followed by a somewhat awkward discussion where I explain in painfully technical and geeky terms the products I'm trying to make with Nonpolynomial Labs, and the other person restates them in human terms until we either come to a point of understanding or else give up and talk about the weather. Why this is, I have no idea. I was at the conference to show sex toys, and that's what I did. No shame in it, nor should there be, considering all of the incredibly positive feedback.
This all revolves around the fact that I wasn't planning on Slashdong becoming the main hub of the NP Network, and I'm still coming to terms with not feeling like sex is a cop out for immersive environments for some reason. I was so wrapped up in doing things academically, in creating complex research hardware for universities and think tanks, that when the monster of Slashdong got horribly popular, I wasn't quite sure how to deal.
I was lamenting (er, fuck that, too emo, complaining) about this on the Second Life IRC channel earlier, saying how I was surprised at the fact that the SeXBox was getting so much press. Pathfinder Linden said something that really made me think... "Innovation is Innovation".
Now I realize, I just need to shut up and enjoy it. I'm a genius, and the world is begging for more. Why hold back?
So, with that...
Hello.
My name is qDot.
I am a Sex Toy Engineer.
Prepare to die.
P.S.: Every Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends fan can thank The Woman for the artwork on the SeXBox at the show.
I LIKE CEREAL.
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October 25, 2005
One down, one to go...
First off, Hi to all the people coming from Nana! Nice to see Teledildonics getting international exposure. :)
Well, I'm back at the Slashdong HQ (read: the office in my house) for a grand total of 12 hours before I ship right back out to Austin Texas for the Austin Games Conference (If that link doesn't work, try this one, as their servers got knocked out by Wilma). I'll be blogging the full conference (assuming that's allowed) over on Nonpolynomial Labs, so those of you who couldn't cough up the $145 to show up to an OMG AWESOME conference can freeload off of whatever notes and pictures I take.
Once again, if you're interested in saying hi while I'm in Austin, throw an email at the tips address on the sidebar. Not sure what my evening schedule will be like, but we can try to work something out.
I'd like to say thanks to the cool people I met up with in San Jose (I hesitate to refer to SD readers as "Slashdongers", it just doesn't sound right :) ), as well as the absolutely wonderful people of Linden Lab, who were gracious enough to let me take a tour during one of their busiest days. It's nice to know that I've made "Teledildonics" a household word in places other than my own house. :)
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October 19, 2005
Coming Attractions, and qDot's Two Stop World Tour
So you've probably been thinking "Damn, qDot's all occupied working on other projects, he's forgotten about his roots, his outgrown slashdong..."
Well, check *this* shit out.
That's right. See that? That's the SeXBox v4 (v3 was actually built by a forum member, using an awesome idea about rewiring the save cart slots. Mathias, if you're reading this, please send me the pdf again and I swear I'll post it this time). Now outfitted with some horribly basic circuitry, the sexbox can handle up to 4 toys pulling 1 amp each. One controller provides up to 4 players with haptics, AND the internal haptics motors no longer need to be disconnected!
So, how'd I do it (*cough* motor driver *cough*)? Well, you'll just have to wait and see the tutorial when I get back from my UBER GIGANTIC WORLD TOUR.
I'll be in San Jose, CA from Oct 20th-24th, and Austin, TX Oct 25th-29th. If you're in one of these places and want to say hi, buy me alcohol, or whatever else, just throw an email at tips@slashdong.org. I dunno how much free time I'll have if any in SJ, but we'll see. I'll be in Austin for the Austin Games Conference, so if you're going to be there, just look for the guy drinking too much of the free beer on thursday afternoon and ruining any chances of working in the game industry.
Assuming the venue has decent wireless and I won't get kicked out for it, I'll be blogging the conference over at Nonpolynomial Labs.
As for updating this place, well, it might be a little quiet for the next week and a half or so, but I'll certainly do what I can. Until then, here's some links.
NY Hotties, Blog of an escort in NY. Pretty nifty stuff
Dandith Bondage Plans - Because home depot is a perv's best friend
Tsuba - Tech Fetish Art Thanks to Technorgasmic for this find.
Sex Drive Daily - Regina Lynn steals my readers provides interesting links to sex tech and websites.
IGDA Sex In Games Blog - Brenda is speaking at AGC! Go!
MMOrgy. Because I can't pimp my own projects enough.
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October 18, 2005
The Toy: Bluetooth Cellphone Fun with the World's Most Nondescript Name
The Toy: Bluetooth Cellphone Fun with the World's Most Nondescript Name
The Toy is a bluetooth vibrator that bonds with cell phones. Text messages to the phone will trigger up to *7200* different motor patterns.
Now let me repeat. BLUETOOTH. BLUEFUCKINGTOOTH. That means you can walk around with the horribly sexy toy *in use*, with the controller in your pocket. Anyone who has your phone number instantly becomes a Dom/me. It's the best unwitting BDSM you'll ever have! (Please note: we realize the horribly questionable ethics of this. But still, fun!)
Now, in these times of Google being an oft-used verb, you have two choices when you choose a product name. You can choose a nice, unique name that will have you standing out because of the lack of use, or you can choose "The Toy". Now, I'm not saying The Toy is not a good product. I absolutely adore the design, and the carrying case is an awesome touch. But please, please tell me that they're going to let others rebrand it or something, 'cause just calling it "The Toy" is gonna be hella confusing.
Currently no price available or distribution info available.
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October 16, 2005
MMOrgy: New Nonpolynomial Network Site covering Sex in MMOs
MMOrgy: New Nonpolynomial Network Site covering Sex in MMOs
MMOrgy is a new site on the Nonpolynomial Network (That last link is *also* a new site, but it's not sex related, so it doesn't get a feature post. Go look anyways.) dedicated to covering Sex In MMOs. At this moment, we're sitting at the edge of a huge online game sex revolution as more and more pure sex MMO related projects like Rapture Online and Spend The Night have been annouced as in development. In addition to the already huge user driven content of virtual worlds and emergent sex in World of Warcraft and Anarchy Online, video/audio sex chat could very well have some stiff competition soon. When all of that happens, MMOrgy will be there to track it.
Also, their first interview was with me! Yay! Publicity rules, even when it's from another blog on your own network (hey, it works for the Gawker people)...
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October 13, 2005
Futurologist Predicts BoobPod
I originally picked this up on Ananova, but as with everything on Ananova, I wasn't really sure it was true. However, plugging in "bt technologies mp3 breast implant" to google brought up the paper that mentions it. According to a BT Futurologist (I want that job. "I predict... BIOLUMINESCENT ICE CREAM!"), one of the things we could look forward to in the future is implants that serve multiple purposes, replacing items we usually carry with items that go everywhere because they're *in* us. As an example, he mentions breast implants with MP3 players in them. ("Mammory Memory". God I love academic humor.)
*pause for everyone to make Tune In Tokyo jokes*
Now, I'm all for implants. The second I get the $500 or so free for a nice HiTag RFID with 2k storage and crypt and a reader, you can bet your ass I'm getting me an RFID implant. However, a BoobPod? This sort of reminds me of Jude Law as the robowhore in AI (best part of the movie O M G). Just slap some titties and there's the Barry White. It's strangely romantic.
Ok, no it's not.
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October 10, 2005
The Accujac
The Accujac, Robojac, and toys of Funways Marketing
And while we're at posting about autojackers, I just found out about this one from someone on our forums. Unforunatly, this looks like it's going to be a history lesson instead of a product annoucement, as most parts of their pages haven't been updated since 2003, and their order pages show 404's now.
Funways Marketing produced the AccuJac, RoboJac, RoboJil, and many other awesomely named machines and components. With all of the understated grace of a tackle box, you could carry around your dildo controller right next to all of your hunting equipment without anyone noticing!
Now, for all of my ribbing about design, they honestly had some really cool addons. The Piston Dildo was a somewhat crude but effective usage of air pressure for pumping purposes. They even ventured into the world of electrostim. They even beat Rent-A-Dildo to the refurbished toy idea!
Ah well, I always find out about the cool stuff way too late. I'll give their 800 number a call tomorrow and update this post if they're still alive.
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The Ijaculator
The law of DIY building states:
For every ghetto ass hack you build, someone will build something ghettoer, and charge 5x as much
So now we find ourselves with the Ijaculator. This looks to be a toilet paper tube on a rocker base. To prepare, just stuff a latex glove in it, lube it up, and you're ready to go! All for only $300!
Yeah, that's right, $300. Nevermind that you can buy a Priceless for $179 (which should be discounted when you constantly advertise them on your page *cough* *cough* :) ), it comes works with the fleshlight which I can GUARENTEE feels a lot better than a waded up and lubed latex glove.
The final nail in the coffin has to be the billing. "Send $300 to [insert address here]!" In this day of credit cards and digital money transfer, I just don't think I'll be shipping a check to some random internet guy's house. I feel much better having 1's and 0's stolen than paper, it makes me feel more... techy.
Update: I just found out Fleshbot made this same rant a year ago. Well, at least there's a consensus.
via sexblo.gs
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October 3, 2005
Obscene Machines being shown on Channel 4 Tomorrow
Obscene Machines being shown on Channel 4 Tomorrow
For those of you that didn't catch it the first time around, the Obscene Machines Documentary on tech sex and fetishes is being shown on Channel 4, Tuesday 4th Oct 2005, 22:55 to 00:00 (BST, GMT+1).
Also, if you happen to have an encoder and wouldn't mind recording it, I'll be happy to set up a torrent of the show once I get a copy.
via The Sex Drive Mailing List
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