September 29, 2005
The ButtKicker
There's really nothing like sitting on top of a subwoofer to... break a subwoofer. However, if you really feel the need to get up close and personal with the bass your games are producing, you can now use the ButtKicker. Basically, it's a subwoofer that straps to your chair. Any time the game your playing puts out bass frequency, it uses the chair as output. Nothing like a tingly butt to make an environment more immersive. You know, if you like tingly butt environments.
Also: The webpage contains some of the worst oh-faces ever. I mean, really, I don't know if I wanna buy something that's gonna make me make THAT face.
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The Sex Machine Book
Ever wonder what Slashdong project photos would look like if they were taken by someone with actual talent, versus a nerd with a digital camera? Well, I can only hope they'd come out looking like something near the quality of The Sex Machine Book (Link goes to their blog). This new photography and interview book showcases the machines of some of the best sex builders out there. The photography is absolutely stunning, and the interviews reveal the interesting people behind the somewhat scary toys.
Maybe someday we'll actually finish a project worthy of being photographed. Too bad that "finish a project" part is so damn difficult.
via Fleshbot
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September 23, 2005
Happy Birthday Violet Blue!
Here's wishing a happy (slightly late, oops :) ) birthday to Violet Blue, our favorite sex writer/roboticist/general all around cool girl.
And even more, here's to the new tradition of naked birthday pictures. It's the present that everyone looks forward to opening! :)
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September 22, 2005
Totems: The Next Level of InfoPorn
Totems: The Next Level of InfoPorn
I am information's bitch.
Seriously. Take some information, make it pretty, and I will sit there and drool like a raver on acid, happily staring at it for hours. Information Aesthetics is one of my favorite blogs thanks to this (WHY MUST YOU GO ON VACATION?!?! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!). It's not often that I get to combine InfoPorn with REAL porn though, so this post makes me extra happy.
Totems is an art project that creates sex toys from porn viewing density mapped against time over the course of a day. Data about websites visited by users were mapped based on Porn versus Non-porn viewing. The resulting graphs were spun around an axis and printed using a 3D printer, in order to make (not-so-comfortable, but hell, some people apparently like that sort of thing) sex toys.
Sex generated Sex Toys. I gotta go change pants. Again.
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September 21, 2005
Interview on IGDA Sex In Games Blog with qDot
Interview on IGDA Sex In Games Blog with qDot
Ever wonder what it would look like if I actually tried being serious? Well, it'd be something like the 5 questions interview with me that's over at IGDA Sex In Games Blog right now. I think it's a pretty good explanation of why I do what I do, though I had to leave out the whole fame of waving dildos around on the internet and acting like I'm a scientist.
Speaking of game industry news, assuming I can finally stop flaking out and remember to order my pass, I'll be at the Austin Games Conference next month. So if you're going to be there, drop me a line in email or IM or Second Life or whatever, I'll need drinking buddies.
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September 19, 2005
The (Sexual) Revolution?
So, unless you've been hiding under a rock or just generally don't pay attention to video games (around here, we consider those to be on equal ground), you've probably heard about the Nintendo Revolution Controller Annoucement. Just in case you can't pick up how it is to be used in the article, check out this promotional video.
Now I personally believe that Nintendo fucking r00lz, and that it's seriously about fucking time someone breaks the "ubiquitous joystick/button" combo style that console gaming has settled into. I could go on about this, and do, over on Nonpolynomial Labs, but I'm trying to keep all of my control theory postings over there now, because a lot of people find that stuff not so sexy. :)
Anyways, it seems that gamers have decided that, for some reason, a TV remote is a sex toy. It's probably the fact that the remote *vibrates*, but still, it's a fucking remote, people. I don't remember anyone shoving TV remotes up their ass anytime in the last 40 or so years we've had them, so why start now, just because it vibrates?
There's been jokes on what the additions to the controller could be like.
There are those who realize you have one hand free.
And then there's the many, many, many forum threads that I'm suddenly finding in my referers, all talking about what holes this new control scheme will fill.
Fuck, why even list links, just google Nintendo Revolution Sex Toy.
I can't for the life of me understand why a boxy vibrating remote triggered this off. I mean, hell, both the current xbox and PS2 controllers have nice, round grips, ergonomically fit for your hands, which means curvy enough to fit other places. But for some reason, people on the internet like shoving right angles in their hoo-haa.
Maybe I miss the stalls for the dongs these days. Maybe I'm just too experienced with hooking real sex toys into controllers to go au natural with a FUCKING RECTANGLE.
The fact still remains: You people are weird.
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Money does not breed maturity
Money does not breed maturity: Rockstar Games Rebuttal
There's a new consumer advocacy group in town, and they're called the Citizens United Negating Technology For Life And People's Safety.
That's right. For those of you who are acronymically-challenged, that's the C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S.
Letting everyone know that the Internet is wrong and should be turned off (in swank 1996 era tables, flashing text, and large blocks of color), we've come up on the newest committee bent on harming the technology that harms us.
Except there's a little problem, in the form of their WHOIS info....
Registrant:
Rockstar Games
622 Broadway
New York, NY 10012
US
Domain Name: CITIZENSUNITEDNEGATINGTECHNOLOGY.COM
Administrative Contact, Technical Contact:
Rockstar Games domains@take2games.com
622 Broadway
New York, NY 10012
US
212-334-6633 fax: 123 123 1234
Record expires on 15-Jun-2008.
Record created on 15-Jun-2005.
Database last updated on 19-Sep-2005 15:09:04 EDT.
Domain servers in listed order:
NS.TAKE2GAMES.COM 63.236.94.5
NS5.TAKE2GAMES.COM 63.236.94.4
So yeah, remember, just because you're a multi-million dollar game company, you don't have to stop acting like a Forum Goon.
(And no, that's not always a bad thing. This is honestly somewhat funny, if a little blunt. A good description of the backing company, too...)
Via the IGDA Sex in Games Mailing List
Update: Apparently this is part of the viral ad site network for the upcoming GTA for the PSP. It's even listed on the game page.
I r teh dumbass.
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September 15, 2005
Ghett-oh: Audi-oh fo' da po'
The Audi-oh. It's a fine piece of machinery that hooks up to your Walkman/Discman/iPodman and turns those thumpin' bass vibrations into thumpin' motor vibrations. Unfortunatly, it'll also run you around $70US, and really, who has that kinda money these days?
Enter the Ghett-oh. All you need is your basic electronics modding equipment, a spare CD drive to rip apart, and a variable resistor of some type. Rip out of the motor and a transistor, wire them up to the audio jack you also ripped out of the CD drive, and boom, you've got yourself some new-fangled sex toyage!
Sweet. Totally sweet. I love you, Slashdong Forum Posters.
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Highjoy and Jenna Jamison form like a really weak Voltron
Highjoy and Jenna Jamison form like a really weak Voltron (Subscription only article, get a login from BugMeNot
So it appears that HighJoy and Jenna Jamison have teamed up to make turn a boring sex simulator and a DRM'd sex toy into a tepid marketing scheme. Now you too can pay way, way too much money on a remote sex toy because Jenna told you too.
You'd figure they'd combine it with the video game, or something, but no, they're just using her and her girls as a spokesperson.
"Technological breakthrough" my ass.
Wait. That last sentence didn't sound right. At all.
Via Fleshbot, and our best wishes to Jonno and Violet (I know you'll call me. Someday. *sigh* :) ), both of whom are kicking ass keeping the blog up considering their respective situations right now.
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September 13, 2005
The All-In-One Package
Remember Fu-Fme? The joke website that was most people's first introduction to teledildonics? Well now Homemade Sex Toys has gone and sort of implemented the male side of that setup, implanting a pocket pussy in the drive bays of a case to make a fuckable computer (no remote control, unfortunatly. All it would've taken is a 5v fan line with software controller... :) ). Now, there's a few questionable things about this, like, say, the fact that THERE'S ONLY A PIECE OF DUCT TAPE between you and DEATH BY ELECTROJIZZ, but hey, if you're stupid enough to stick your genetalia that close to a power supply, you might as well enjoy a little electrostim. So next time you're courting your online love who may not be real (warning: link can cause large dent in work day, SFW) or making some fuck with that Dark Elf you just bought off of eBay, you can use the the heat of your video card to make the situation more... personal.
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September 7, 2005
TOYSTOYSTOYSTOYSTOYSTOYSTOYS!
One of the absolutely wonderful things about running a site like this is the crap that I can order and call "research equipment". What would usually be attributed to a lonely, pervy bastard can now be an INSTRUMENT OF SCIENCE.
First, an anecdote. In the silly, ridiculously boring days of college, we used to go down to the local Hastings and see how much music we could buy for under $10. Since there was a bin of <$1 CDs, we usually walked away with a good bit of stuff. It was this hobby that led me to realize that 29 cent reggae was much, much better than 39 cent reggae. The 29 cent reggae came on a tape that itself probably cost more than what we paid. It had a certain, I don't know, "dimeless" feel that the 39 cent reggae didn't. There was more soul, more feeling... A feeling only costing 10 cents less could bring.
It was with this hope that I ordered 10 ridiculously cheap vibrators from Amazon. 5 of the 79 cent "Lady Fingers", and 5 of the $1.29 "Magic Wand Personal Massagers". Would the 79 cent vibrators overcome? Would the extra 50 cents prove to be a insurmountable gap? WHO WOULD REIGN SURPREME IN VIBRATOR ARENA? *Pensive Chairman Kaga Look*
Oh yeah, and I finally ordered a Rez Trancevibrator, because if anyone on this Earth should own one, it should be me.
Now, I'm not really in the field of reviewing sex toys (mainly because I'm too busy taking them apart), but when you've got the combination of a 79 cent vibrator, a $1.29 vibrator, and the Rez Trancevibrator, well, it's just something you've gotta write about.
So, let's start from the bottom and work our way up.
Metallic Pink Slim Line Lady Finger Mini Massager Vibrator (Pink no longer available. IT'S NOW A COLLECTORS ITEM! HAH! It's going next to my Magic The Gathering Cards in my safe deposit box!)
Pros:
- It's pink
- It's glittery
- It's 99 fucking cents (I got them for 79, HAH!), for christ sake
- Hard Plastic is great if you want to hurt people while hitting them with a vibrator
Cons:
- Hard plastic just doesn't do it for me.. In this day and age, we have cyberskin. We no longer have to shove hard plastic into soft holes. Why stoop to the level of cavemen?
- Requires 2 Double A batteries, in such a way that it would be an absolute bitch to mod
Overall Rating: Well, at least it matches the Pink Sparkly Buttplug of DOOM.
5 Speed Magic Wand Personal Massager Vibrator
Pros:
- Might as well be a nightstick. It's overwhelming stature makes it great for winning arguments
- Ok, not nightstick, LIGHT SABER. It works even better if you make the VOOOOOOOOOOOM sounds while battling your foe.
- If you squint at the picture, you can see that the switch is a little heart! Cute!
- Comes with 5 speeds: Slow Pulse, Medium Pulse, High Pulse, Rough Um Up a Little, Ike Loves You Baby
- Hard Plastic is great if you want to hurt people while hitting them with a vibrator
Cons:
- A 9 volt battery. It takes a fucking 9 volt battery. So you have a choice. Use this vibrator, or have a working smoke alarm. 'cause you KNOW you don't have any 9v batteries laying around. Just better hope the thing doesn't catch fire.
- I don't have any 9v motor drivers sitting around! Fuck, I'm gonna have to order even MORE chips!
Overall Rating: Better than the lady finger, so the Vibrators group is not isomorphic with Reggae group.
Pros:
- I have renamed this LOINQUAKE, as it contains the possiblity of THIGH LIQUIFICATION. Seriously, when combined with an 820 watt Home Theatre system and Rez on the PS2, I believe we compromised the structural integrity of our house
- Easily modded, for her pleasure
Cons:
- Tough to find these days. I got mine on eBay for $30 after shipping. From Hong Kong, no less.
Overall Rating: Why didn't ANY of you tell me how fucking powerful this thing was? This is really one of the most powerful vibe motors I've ever seen, esp for the size and power draw. W T F.
I've already got the USB drivers working with C++ and C#, so more mods will be coming for this one soon. The others, well, they'll make a nice windchime.
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Lifesucking addiction, er, I mean, Second Life is now FREE!
Second Life opens free lifetime basic accounts
You've heard me rave about it. You've watched it single-handedly drive this site from 8 posts a week to 1 if we're lucky. I don't remember any of my friends names, I'm not sure if I have a fiancee any longer, and I haven't seen the sun in 3 weeks, but WHO CARES! Second Life accounts are now free!
Second Life basic accounts (you can't own Linden Land, but you can still rent land) are now free. Lifetime accounts, no monthly fees, and a really neat world to check out. This is the platform I'll be using for the actuation of some of our new projects, as adding a virtual world to sex tech is ever so spiffy. Every fetish (and my god, I do mean EVERY fetish) is represented in world, so there really is something for everyone.
(Oh yeah, and use "qDot Bunnyhug" as a referer, and message me once you get in, I'll be in world most of the evening. :) )
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