Obviously if I can't be arsed to post any real news this year, I also can't come up with good April Fools Jokes. So, time to use the humor of others.

No. Really. A Crowbar Dildo. It's even called "The Freeman". While it's an April Fools Day joke, it's actually real, and you can actually buy it, assuming you do so in the next 18 or so hours.

Yeah. We already saw awesome Half Life fan movies, now it's time for Half Life fan porn.

Wait, no it isn't.